i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
