You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize