Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize