Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
So squirting runs in the family.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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