I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
