READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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