Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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