Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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