The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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