i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
