I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
