Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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