Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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