You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
