What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
