there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Soap is not a condiment
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
