oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
