I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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