You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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