WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Rumble strips road head = magical
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
