I seem to have left my pride at pride
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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