you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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