i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
