omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
its not stalking. its research.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
