I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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