the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
