They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Need sex. Gaining weight.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize