Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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