omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
