just come out here and I will go home with you...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
