I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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