and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
