New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
