how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
