SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
