Dual....:-)
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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