Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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