Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize