I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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