Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
