We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
