Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
