he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
