I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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