FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
