i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
