hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Holy sore nipples Batman
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
