I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
