Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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