forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
