I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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