I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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