We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I understand Curling. That high.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
