Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
